For what am I living? For whom am I living? What is my purpose? Is what I am doing on a daily basis a living testimony to the purpose of my life?
I recognize God as my supreme creator. Lord and master of my life...my reason for being. My purpose therefore should be to honour and glorify him. To be an obedient servant of God. But, when it comes right down to it, am I?
I can be so easily distracted. The busy-ness of daily life, the needs of family, wants of self. Oh to lose myself in the Lord.
Reading my Bible, God's faithful word to me. Listening to what He says to me and applying what I have learned. Obedience is not always easy.
Some days I feel as though I am growing, other days as though I am regressing. Trying to live my convictions in the face of those who disagree can be very wearing leading to doubts. Do I really need to dress as a woman, wearing nothing pertaining to a man. Modest clothing is so easy to do in the middle of winter when everyone else is yet quite another when summer and immodest clothing arrives. The head covering is another matter. A year ago I wore it daily. This last year has been hit and miss. Mind you, it has come to my attention in this year that my neck should be covered as well. Never looked at the neck as something that would attract attention...until now. Maybe I just needed to stand back a bit so as to see more clearly.
Rather than attending a physical church, I have been relying upon online sermons to satisfy my spiritual teachings. I'm not sure this was a good idea. Not that I have not learned and stretched my understanding, but having a "virtual" church family and a "physical" church family are not the same.
I'm not sure exactly how to go from here, except that I want my path to lead me to God, and not away from. Working on bringing my focus away from myself and on to building my relationship with God.